What I've learned about soccer ...

from watching the World Cup so far.

• There are really no clear rules for what contact or how much contact constitutes a foul. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching hockey on grass or a rugby match. I'll see a foul called for a slight tug of the shirt and other times it looks like a guy gets checked into the boards (figuratively speaking, of course) and there's no foul called. Can someone please explain this to me??
• Inside the penalty box, defenders can pretty much do whatever they want. I guess this pretty much comes down to the fact that the refs and the powers that be in soccer don't want games decided by penalty kicks, especially World Cup games, but come on. I've seen guys get their calves stepped on in full stride, elbowed, scissor kicked, leg-locked ... I think one guy even got picked up and suplexed ... all in the penalty box with no foul called. If normal play in the field sometimes looks like the kind of contact you'd see in a hockey game, play in the penalty box looks more like Wrestlemania. Want to make the World Cup better?? Allow every country to "draft" one professional wrestler who just sits in their own penalty box to try and maul any opposing player who comes in there with the ball. Wouldn't you love to see The Big Show get a hold of Ronaldinho in the penalty box one time and choke slam him to the turf?!! I think Hulk Hogan would pass on retirement for the chance to do this.
  
• You need more than one ref in a soccer match. I know you have the linesmen, but they rarely make calls other than offsides and who gets possession when the ball goes out of bounds. One ref is not enough.
  
• Soccer players are both the biggest hypochondriacs and worst actors I've ever seen. They're like a combination of your little brother and Freddy Prinze, Jr. The way they roll around in "agony" after every foul makes you think the helicopter could land at any minute to lifeflight them to the nearest emergency room. I know they're trying get the yellow card for the opposing player, but give me a break.
• Finally, despite the high international ranking, the U.S. still has a long way to go before they catch up with the rest of the world.
  

Here's to hoping for a U.S. victory over Italy and looking forward to August when our own brand of Football gets back on the scene.